Imposter Syndrome: Chapter 1, Part 2
Imposter Syndrome: Chapter 1, Part 2
The Red Light in the Night.
Imposter Syndrome is my fourth novel. It’s a spooky young adult mystery set in the weird town of Shady Springs, where nothing’s ever quite what it seems. Over the coming weeks, I’ll be sharing serialised instalments of the story exclusively on Substack. If you like it, consider upgrading to a paid subscription to help support my fiction writing. Annual subscribers will get a free physical copy of the novel when it’s published in full.
Previously…
Inside, the Oakwood home was much like the exterior: formerly grand, now a little tired. It was all mahogany and painted-over wallpaper that was beginning to peel in places, with squeaky floorboards and candelabra-style ceiling lights. But it was clean and tidy, and the walls were covered with framed family photos: Tiffany and Alex building sandcastles at the beach as children, Uncle Kurt with toddler Alex on his shoulders, Tiffany’s first day at Elementary School, the whole family outside a theater in some city. Theo even caught sight of a photo of him - probably aged seven or so - with his arm slung over Alex’s shoulders, both drenched and happy after a water fight in the park back home. He remembered that day, but the memory was dull now, like an out-of-focus polaroid photograph.
Aunt Noelle pushed through the kitchen door at the end of the hall and the smell that wafted out made Theo’s stomach gurgle audibly. Uncle Kurt chortled.
“You must be hungry, son,” he said, his bushy eyebrows jiggling. “Alex, do you want to show Theo around before dinner? This is his first time here, after all.”
“Um, sure,” said Alex.
“Show him the dungeons first,” Tiffany called from the living room, where she was already flopped in front of the TV. “That’s where he’s sleeping, right?”
“Tiffany!” Aunt Noelle scolded from the kitchen. Uncle Kurt walked off, still chortling to himself.
Alex spread her hands and said, “Well, this is the hallway, I guess.”
“Cool,” said Theo, looking around as though there was a lot to see.
His younger cousin turned in a full circle, then said, “Oh, I’ll show you upstairs. Leave your bag here a sec.”
He followed her upstairs. Every step creaked and groaned, threatening to collapse under their minimal weight, but Alex didn’t seem bothered by it. She pounded quickly to the top and Theo had to hurry to keep up.
“So, this is the upstairs hallway,” Alex said unnecessarily once Theo joined her. “The bathroom’s here. You’ll have to use the shower early if you want plenty of hot water. Once Tiffany goes in it’s mostly gone. She takes forever now.”
Not a problem back home, Theo thought glumly.
“That’s Mom and Dad’s room - it’s always tidy because Mom’s, like, a neat freak - and that’s Tiff’s room. Do not go in there, ever. She’ll actually kill you.”
“I won’t,” Theo promised.
Alex led him to the end of the hall. “There’s only one window up here so it’s a little dark in daytime, but it’s not a big deal. You’re sleeping downstairs anyway.” Theo noticed there was a slight skip in her step; her earlier shyness was evaporating and there was a tinge of excitement in her voice now.
She’s proud of this place, he thought bemusedly, glancing at the faded ‘Keep Out’ sign stuck on Tiffany’s door. He wondered vaguely if he’d ever been proud of his own house. It’d never occurred to him before.
“And this is my room,” announced Alex. She pushed open the door and Theo followed her inside.
Back home, his Mom often described his bedroom as “what the inside of a dumpster must look like, only worse”, and he’d always assumed every teenager’s room was the same. All his friends’ bedrooms were, anyway. His clothes spent more time on the floor than in his wardrobe and as long as the blanket was on the bed, he considered it made. To Theo, bedrooms were for sleeping, so who cared what they looked like?
Alex clearly had other ideas. Her bedroom was pristine: her bed was made and her carpet was devoid of discarded clothes; the items on her desk, positioned just below the window, were neatly arranged; the shelves of a bookcase in the corner were stacked with paperbacks (Theo had exactly two novels in his room and used them as bookends for his video game collection) and there were more on her bedside table. The only things in Alex’s room that Theo immediately approved of were the movie posters tacked to the walls - The Hunger Games, Star Wars, Doctor Strange, The Maze Runner - but he didn’t vocalize it once he noticed the enormous Twilight poster adjacent to the bed.
Her room smelled differently to his, too, and it took him a moment to understand why. Because it’s clean, he thought, and she’s not a boy.
He suddenly realized Alex was looking at him, waiting for his reaction. “Oh, looks great,” he said. She beamed, and just then she looked a lot like Aunt Noelle.
“Glad you like it,” she said. “I didn’t have time to tidy before you got here.”
Wait, this is her room when it’s messy?
“Oh, I found something yesterday,” Alex said, going to her desk. She pulled a box from the bottom drawer and turned to Theo, holding it up. “Remember this?”
Theo recognized it right away. It was a board game called Escape from the Sinking Island. He hadn’t seen it in years. “Yeah, I remember that.”
“Do you wanna play it?” Alex said, a little breathlessly. “Tiff never wants to, not since she got her driver's permit. I haven’t played it in ages. I can set it up on my desk, I just need to move some things.”
“Um, yeah,” Theo said reluctantly. His stomach rumbled again and he thought, When the heck is dinner, anyway? “Later. Sure.”
Alex’s smile faltered and a flush crept into her cheeks. She lowered the game box a little. Then, as though someone had tugged an invisible string on her back, her smile returned, wider than ever. “Ok,” she said, “later it is.”
“Kids!” Uncle Kurt’s voice from downstairs. “Dinner’s ready!”
“Oh man, I’m starving,” exclaimed Theo. “Come on!”
“Wait,” Alex said, “I didn’t show you where you’ll be sleeping.”
“Show me after, ok?”
Theo hurried from the room, his stomach growling like an animal now. Alex looked down at the game for a moment, then slipped it back into her desk drawer and followed him.
Theo was relieved to see no sign of meatloaf when they arrived in the kitchen. There was no pizza, either, but he didn’t mind. As long as there was no meatloaf.
“Take a seat, Theo,” instructed Aunt Noelle, bustling into the room with a big bowl of steaming pasta. “Alex, where’s your sister?”
“How am I supposed to know?”
“Tiffany! Tiffany, where - ”
“I’m right here, Mom. Geez.”
“Oh. Kurt, where’s the salad? Kurt!”
“Coming, dear.”
“Ugh, salad,” Alex muttered, drawing out her chair.
“It’s good for you, honey,” said Uncle Kurt, setting another bowl on the table. “Tiff, put your phone away.”
“Dad, seriously.”
“Indeed - seriously. What’s my rule? No phones at the dinner table, that’s what.” Theo, whose own phone was half out of his pocket, slipped it back in. Alex saw it and grinned.
“Now,” Aunt Noelle exhaled as she sat down, “let’s dig in.”
The next hour passed in a flash for Theo, who ate like he hadn’t seen food in a week. Like his Mom, Aunt Noelle was an excellent cook and everyone at the table had at least two helpings of cheesy pasta carbonara (Theo had three) with fresh-baked bread, leafy green salad and homemade lemonade on the side. Uncle Kurt asked about his parents, how his Dad’s golf game was these days, was Theo still playing soccer at school, did he know Tiffany played soccer when she was his age? Theo replied that his parents were fine, his Dad’s golf game seemed fine too but he always complained it wasn’t, and that he’d moved on to basketball after Elementary School. Beyond the kitchen windows, the evening sun dipped towards the trees in a haze of burning orange.
“I played basketball too, for a while,” Alex piped up.
“You played it once,” Tiffany corrected, “and then you got hit in the face with the ball and never went again.”
“Well, it hurt.”
“And what about school?” said Aunt Noelle, gathering up their plates. “You’re doing well, right?”
“I’m doing ok,” Theo said, handing her his plate.
“Oh, I’m sure he’s doing just fine, Noelle,” said Uncle Kurt. “He’s got brains in his DNA, with those super smart parents of his.”
“My sister is not that smart,” Aunt Noelle replied prissily. “She still doesn’t know how to crochet. Honestly!” She moved off to the sink and Uncle Kurt threw a wink at Theo.
“You’re starting High School in September, right Theodore?” said Tiffany, one arm slung across the back of her chair. “Just like Alex?”
“Yup,” said Theo. Next to him, Alex nodded eagerly.
“And you have plenty of friends there, Theo?” said Uncle Kurt.
“Sure.”
“Me too,” put in Alex, a little too quickly. “Well, I have a few friends. Janice is my best friend. She’s great.”
“Janice is weird,” said Tiffany.
“No she isn’t.”
“She is. I saw her pick her nose and eat it once.”
“You did not!” Alex whined. “Dad!”
“Tiffany, stop messing with your sister,” said Uncle Kurt sternly. Then, shifting the conversation away from the brewing sibling squabble, he said, “I’m sure Theo has plenty of good friends at school, like Janice.”
“Well, I don’t have any girl… friends who are girls,” Theo said. He felt his cheeks begin to warm. “They’re all boys.”
“Do you have a best friend?” asked Alex, staring at him inquisitively.
Theo’s eyes went to the salt shaker on the table. Why is she always looking at me like that? “Um, yeah. I have a few, I guess.”
“What’s he called?” Alex said.
“He’s called… uh…”
“Alex, quit interrogating him,” said Tiffany.
“I wasn’t!”
“Young Theo’s here for a full week,” said Uncle Kurt, picking absently at something in his teeth. “You’ll have plenty of time to interrogate him then.”
“I wasn’t interrogating - ”
“Dessert time,” announced Aunt Noelle, arriving back at the table with an enormous Baked Alaska in her oven mitts.
“Oh, wow,” said Theo, his eyes lighting up. “That looks amazing!”
“Thank you, dear,” said Aunt Noelle. “I’ve heard it’s your favorite.”
As they tucked into dessert and Alex resumed her futile defense of Janice (“She doesn’t eat her own boogers, I swear she doesn’t!”), the sun sank below the tree line outside and dusk settled over Shady Springs. Aunt Noelle asked Theo how his bus journey had been that day, how many changes did he have to make, wasn’t he so mature taking the bus all by himself. Theo answered every question as well as he could manage, but he was rapidly growing tired and talking about the bus conjured up images of the old woman with mustard-colored teeth. Finally, Uncle Kurt set down his coffee mug and said, “I think I’m done for tonight.”
“Dad, it’s only nine o’clock,” said Tiffany. “You’re not that old.”
“Some of us aren’t on summer vacation,” Uncle Kurt replied, waggling his bushy eyebrows at her. “And in case you’d forgotten, we have a July Fourth party to prepare for.”
“Oh goodness, I still haven’t made the potato salad,” gasped Aunt Noelle.
“Is it happening here?” asked Theo sleepily. His belly was very full.
“No, it’s up by the lake,” said Tiffany. “We have it there every year.”
“The town puts on a big fireworks display, most people go up there to watch,” explained Uncle Kurt. “We share a barbeque with some other families, at one of the campsites by the water. It’s going to be great Theo, you’ll love it.”
“Sounds good,” Theo said. For the first time that evening, talk of food didn’t cause his stomach to gurgle.
“You really have grown up so much, Theo,” said Aunt Noelle. “It’s so nice having you here, even if it’s just for a week.”
The little voice in Theo’s head, the part of him that didn’t particularly want to be there, immediately started protesting again, but not quite as loudly now. Tiredness was stealing over him like a warm blanket.
“I think it’s time you kids hit the hay,” Uncle Kurt said. “Alex will show you round town tomorrow, Theo.”
“That’ll take all of five minutes,” added Tiffany, stifling a yawn.
“Thanks,” Theo said, forcing a smile. “It’s, um, nice to be here. Thanks for having me.”
“Any time, son,” said Uncle Kurt.
“Oh, I didn’t show you where you’re sleeping,” Alex said. “Come on.”
Theo said his good-nights and followed Alex out of the room. He grabbed his bag and they started down the hall.
“We can cycle into town tomorrow,” said Alex brightly. “You’ll have to borrow one of our old bikes, though. It might be a little rusty.”
“That’s ok,” Theo said, yawning.
“Are you… too tired to play our game?” Alex said.
“Oh right. Can we do it tomorrow instead? Sorry, I’m pretty beat.”
“Sure,” Alex nodded. Theo heard the disappointment in her voice but he was too tired to apologize further. “That’s ok. Tomorrow.”
They came to the end of the hall and Alex pushed open another door, revealing a small room with a fold-out couch at one end and a very old TV at the other. A window next to the TV looked out across the treetops, which were now black silhouettes in the late evening light.
“This is the den,” said Alex, switching on a lamp by the bed-couch. “It’s your room for the week. I said you could sleep on my floor like before but Mom and Dad think you’re too old for that now.”
I am, Theo thought, and said, “This is great. Thanks Alex.”
Alex blinked, smiling crookedly. “Ok, g’night.”
Once she was gone, Theo dumped his bag in the corner and flopped down on the bed-couch, which squeaked like it was full of mice. He checked his phone but quickly realized he’d forgotten to get the Wi-Fi password. Sighing, he tossed it on the pillow next to him. Elsewhere in the house, he could hear the Oakwoods making their way to bed.
“I hope this doesn’t suck,” he whispered to himself. You hope? the little voice replied, You know it’ll suck. You should be at home right now, sleeping in your own bed. Not here, hundreds of miles away, in this box room. This isn’t a vacation, it’s a punishment. “It’s too late, anyway. I’m here now.”
He swung himself off the bed and went to the window, opening it a crack. He could never sleep with it closed at home. Cool evening air breezed into the room; outside, the trees swayed gently below a field of brightening stars.
Theo pulled the curtains closed, unzipped his bag and wrestled his pajamas from the chaotic bundle inside. He’d insisted on packing it himself, but now he wished his Mom had done it instead. As he changed, he wondered which important items he’d forgotten to bring this time.
He had remembered his toothbrush, though. Opening the den door, he padded barefoot down the hall to the bottom of the stairs. The living room door was ajar and he could hear the news playing on the TV. He caught the anchor woman saying something like, “... while the country prepares for the holiday weekend, strange occurrences continue to…” and then he was halfway upstairs, out of earshot.
Thankfully, the bathroom was unoccupied when he got there. As he stepped back into the dark hallway with minty-fresh breath a few minutes later, he happened to notice a glow fanning out across the floorboards from beneath Alex’s bedroom door. I should say goodnight properly, he thought. She wanted to hang out and I kinda blew her off.
He went to the door. It was slightly ajar, and he could see Alex’s bed through the crack. She wasn’t in it yet. Probably reading, he thought. He pushed the door open and said, “Hey Alex, sorry for earlier, I - ”
Alex had been sitting cross-legged on the floor with her back to him, hunched over a large book. She was also in her pajamas and her long, white-blonde hair spilled down her back. It whipped aside as she turned her head. Her eyes went wide when she saw him and she slammed the book shut.
“You didn’t knock!” she exclaimed, jumping to her feet. Her pajamas were lilac-colored and looked as though they’d just been ironed. Theo’s looked like someone had chucked them from the window of a passing car.
“I did!” he replied. Didn’t I? His eyes dropped to the book - no, the binder - by her ankles. “What’re you doing, anyway? What’s that?”
“It’s nothing,” said Alex, abruptly sitting down again to block his view of it. Her cheeks flushed pink. “I was just… reading, before bed. You should knock before coming into someone’s room!”
“I thought I did,” said Theo, shrugging. “Anyway, I just wanted to say sorry for before, for not playing the game.”
The invisible string tugged on Alex’s back again and she smiled. “It’s fine, don’t worry. We’ll play tomorrow, like you said.”
“Are you sure - ”
“I’m sure. G’night!”
Theo stared at her a moment, then said, “Ok, goodnight,” and turned to leave. He grabbed the door handle and pulled it closed after him. Alex didn’t move until the door clicked shut. As soon as it did, Theo heard a shuffling of socks-on-carpet, followed by the sound of a drawer being hurriedly opened and closed. He hesitated, considered flinging the door open again, and then walked away.
Girls, he thought, rolling his eyes.
The TV was still going in the living room; a weatherman cheerily revealed that “a succession of summer storms were on the way” but they’d all arrive after July Fourth, so everything would be fine. Back in the den, Theo shut the door, plugged his phone charger into the socket by the old TV and got into bed. The couch was lumpy and the pillows were too flat, but no sooner had he closed his eyes than sleep stole over him. Whoever had been watching TV eventually went upstairs and the Oakwood house fell silent.
Theo dreamt he was back on the bus again, seated near the front as it sped between blurred walls of green trees. The old woman was also there, smiling pleasantly as she gobbled a meatloaf with both hands, juice running down her wrinkly chin. He thought his parents might be there too, but for some reason he couldn’t look behind him.
The bus slowed to a halt and the door hissed open. “Your stop,” said the driver, and Theo saw it was Uncle Kurt. His eyebrows were now so bushy they covered the top half of his face. “Time to go, son,” he said.
“Here?” said Theo, peering out the window. They were in Shady Springs, right by a soccer field that Theo was certain hadn’t been there earlier. Tiffany was dribbling the ball towards goal, where Alex stood with a board game in her hands. “Do you want to play - ” Alex began, and then the soccer ball smacked her in the face and she flew into the net. In the bleachers, several dozen Aunt Noelles cheered rapturously, throwing their crochet hooks in the air.
“Here?” Theo asked again. He suddenly found himself by the open bus door.
“Here.” It was his Mom’s voice. He started to turn, and then a boot connected with his bottom and he went sailing from the bus, high into the warm summer air. And then he was falling, falling, straight towards the ground as it rushed up to meet him…
…and he woke with a gasp.
He was back in the den again, his forehead laced with sweat. It was now pitch black and the room was stiflingly warm.
Theo sighed and sat up, wiping his brow. Stupid dream, he thought. And then, did I open the window earlier?
Throwing back the sheets, he got out of bed and stumbled in the direction of the window. His little toe stubbed on the corner of the bed-couch and he had to bite down on his lip to keep from crying out.
His fumbling hands found the curtains and he pulled them open. Outside, the moon and stars were now fully bright, bathing the Oakwoods’ back garden in a silvery hue. Theo could now see where the garden ended at a low fence, with the gently swaying trees just beyond. The house was on a hill, he remembered, so he was only seeing the tops of those trees. They could be enormously tall, for all he knew.
He had opened the window earlier, but it’d slid closed again. Great, he thought, pulling the sash up, this is going to happen all week, isn’t it? He’d have to find a way to prop it open, but that could wait until morning. Right now, he needed to sleep.
Just as he was about to close the curtains again, his eyes went to the trees. They moved hypnotically from side to side in the July night, swishing in the breeze. It almost sounded like whispers.
Theo felt a cold finger trace down his spine. Suddenly, he missed the sound of passing cars and airplanes overhead. He even missed Mrs Feldman’s dog Bruno, barking incessantly to get back inside just seconds after whining to be let out. He missed the sounds of the city. It was too quiet here.
And then he saw it, and the icy finger raced up the back of his neck, making the hairs there stand on end. It was just above the trees, moving from left to right across the star field: a red light, pulsing in the darkness.
It’s a plane, he thought, gripping the curtains with sweaty fingers. It’s just a plane.
But even as the words formed in his mind, the red light stopped abruptly… and then started back the way it’d come, moving right to left above the trees. It rose higher in the sky, pulsing brighter than before.
Planes don’t do that, Theo thought. His heart had begun to thump in his chest. That’s not a plane.
And suddenly, as though it’d heard him, the red light rocketed downwards and disappeared beyond the trees. Theo stared at the place it’d been until his eyes started to hurt, waiting to see if it’d appear again. When it didn’t, and the air breezing in around his middle began to chill, he pulled the curtains closed.
“It was a plane,” he whispered aloud, backing away until his calves bumped into the bed-couch. “I’m just sleepy. It was either a plane or I was just seeing things.”
Just then, some animal out in the forest uttered a short, shrill shriek.
With a yelp, Theo Islander dove back into bed, pulled the covers over his head and didn’t move until the sun was up.
Oooh nice cliffhanger at the end. I’m getting a good dose of modern nostalgia with this story.
I loved it so much to be honest.