Forgive me if I might sound teachery: The "...formerly grand, now a little tired..." at the very beginning is a summary that kind of hits the reader over the head. The mahogany and peeling wallpaper etc. does a much nicer job of getting the picture of formerly-grand-now-shabby across.
Personally, I didn’t feel like it was out of place. At a second glance I can see what you’re saying, but considering the target age group of the piece, I think it’s perfectly acceptable.
Oooh nice cliffhanger at the end. I’m getting a good dose of modern nostalgia with this story.
Thanks Adam!
Forgive me if I might sound teachery: The "...formerly grand, now a little tired..." at the very beginning is a summary that kind of hits the reader over the head. The mahogany and peeling wallpaper etc. does a much nicer job of getting the picture of formerly-grand-now-shabby across.
Fair point!
Personally, I didn’t feel like it was out of place. At a second glance I can see what you’re saying, but considering the target age group of the piece, I think it’s perfectly acceptable.
Lovely work. I thoroughly enjoyed this!