I got confused about the time in this third chapter. At first it seems to be sunset or later. Then you speak of daylight. But then the sun is fading. If it’s dusk, how can Brooke see the strange girl clearly?
Also, while I don’t have a problem with characters dying, to wipe out Charlie in the beginning of the book seems heavy for an MG story. I realize that he may still be alive, but will a kid think that?
Thanks for reading Deborah, appreciate the feedback. Timewise, it's moving towards sunset so there's still daylight. Brooke has a good view of the other girl as she's right next to her in that moment for the first time. And not to spoil anything, but the title of the chapter following this one is 'Charlie and the Ghouls'.
After reading the 4 chapters you shared, I realized not much makes me interested in what is to come. Maybe except of the first guy :-) Brooke and Dale are not really enjoyable at this point. I will probably give your book a try and buy it, because I want to support you, but I don't feel sucked into the story :-)
I got confused about the time in this third chapter. At first it seems to be sunset or later. Then you speak of daylight. But then the sun is fading. If it’s dusk, how can Brooke see the strange girl clearly?
Also, while I don’t have a problem with characters dying, to wipe out Charlie in the beginning of the book seems heavy for an MG story. I realize that he may still be alive, but will a kid think that?
Thanks for reading Deborah, appreciate the feedback. Timewise, it's moving towards sunset so there's still daylight. Brooke has a good view of the other girl as she's right next to her in that moment for the first time. And not to spoil anything, but the title of the chapter following this one is 'Charlie and the Ghouls'.
After reading the 4 chapters you shared, I realized not much makes me interested in what is to come. Maybe except of the first guy :-) Brooke and Dale are not really enjoyable at this point. I will probably give your book a try and buy it, because I want to support you, but I don't feel sucked into the story :-)
Don’t worry about it Maurice, if you haven’t enjoyed it so far it’s probably not for you.
You think? I usually enjoy fantasy :-)